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Feels 'Right' vs Feels Familiar

Making decisions can feel heavy, so below are 3 reminders to make decisions that are expansive, feel lighter, and thus, are effective (from Issue #9 of my weekly newsletter):

You are Powerful

Making the right decision is often questioned and studied. It can be challenging to make decisive choices and easy to stay dismissive, unclear, and habitual. And it may be because we are more powerful than we think we are. Do we consider our own strength in making a clear decision about something? Sometimes not because it means we’re responsible for the outcome. For example, it’s easy to let someone else choose where to eat dinner because if it’s not tasty, at least it was not my decision and, therefore, I can blame the experience on that person’s decision. This is victim-like behavior and clouds our effective decision making. There is solace and liberation as well in owning one’s decisions. We learn with practice to be comfortable with the decisions we make.

What is Aligned with Now

Effective decision making can be clouded by the idea of a decision being right or wrong. Sure, there is a right action and a wrong action but defining it that way depends highly on the context and desired outcome. Most of the time our desire to do what’s right clouds the clarity of mind from doing what’s aligned in that moment with the desired outcome. On paper this decision (an example of working with a person) may look right but if something doesn’t feel intuitively aligned it is a sign to say no. Also, our concept of right and wrong is often limited by our perspectives. Something that we thought was a mistake often, with a positive mindset, can turn out to be for the better or better than I could have imagined.

Choose what’s Unfamiliar

Lastly, next time you make a decision ask yourself if this choice feels right or does it feel familiar? It can be easy to mix up the two. Often what feels right really just feels familiar because we’ve done it several times - like ordering the same dinner at the same restaurant or doing the same routine each morning. Experiment with something new, observe the new data, and switch it up a bit - you can always change it based on the new information gathered.

Choosing to make a decision can be intense, so I hope these reminders help bring some brevity to your simple and not-so-simple decisions to make.

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